I hate this van!

I think we officially got screwed when we bought our van 1 1/2 years ago... It is now in the shop again and I have put more money into it then it is worth. I am waiting to hear back from the mechanic tomorrow to see what the deal is and then go from there, but I honestly think it is the end of the road for me and this car. I have gave it more attention then I have myself in the last month and all it wants to do is give me crap. Not to mention during this deployment, I just feel like I am really living alone and no matter how hard I try I just keep getting screwed. I have been saving money for Jeremy this summer when he comes home so he could have a good time. Honestly every penny I can without making it rough on me and the kids. I do things ever now and again because I too still have to live, but I wanted it to be a good time this summer when he came home. Now this stupid van is ruining everything and if I could find a trash can big enough that is where it would go. I just want a good car, and a safe car for me and my kids and every time I think we have found one someone screws us over. Buying new is about my only option because I am so scared of used cars now that I want to kick something, but then I would hurt myself. Also it never fails the time I need Jeremy to call home he don't. It's really one of the most frustrating things I have to deal with, that is not being able to just call and ask him what he thinks. I just have to make the choice myself and pray to God I made the right one. Tonight I just feel like I am treading water... and I am honestly scared of what they are going to say tomorrow when they call me about the "LEMON"... but for now I think I need sleep. 1 month 11 days.... bookmarked <3